Benjamin's Story

May 24th, 2007

I left to work feeling anxious as it was our baby's due date. Going to work each day was getting harder as we approached the big day, I just didn't like leaving her home alone. It was a busy day at the office and with many friends asking if it had happened yet, it made for the longest day ever. Around 1:00 p.m. she called me saying she had been dancing at home to the sounds of Ben Harper when she started feeling some lower back pain. She felt different and knew that it was the beginning.

When I got home I made a good hearty dinner for us just in case it actually was to happen she would have some good energy. "If" I thought. Of course I was in denial that it was going to happen yet. The baby hadn't dropped, no water - we're not even close I thought. After dinner she was still complaining of some lower back pain and some how that message of pain travelled all the way to Hawaii to one of her close friends. The phone rang and it was Theresa calling from the sunny shores of Hawaii. She had a feeling Keli was getting closer to labour so she gave her a call. Upon hearing about the back pain she immediately called our mutual friend Jannie, a massage therapist, to see if she was free to come down to relieve Keli of some pain.

As Jannie answered the phone it was her turn up to bat as she was playing baseball that night. By 8:00 p.m. Jannie had arrived at our place and got right to work. Soon after relieving some of the pressure Keli started to have some small contractions. "Did you keep time on that one," she asked. I assured her it was the same time as the last one, still in denial. Of course over the next couple of hours the contractions progressed from ten seconds long to thirty seconds long. Our midwife Terry Lynn, who just lives down the street, came by to check out the progress. Keli was actually already 4 cm dilated. No more denial. Terry Lynn went home to get some rest before having to deliver the baby which was going to happen sooner than later.

About an hour later the contractions were almost up to a minute long and coming very fast. Time to head to the hospital. Jannie had been such a godsend that night that she definitely had to come to the hospital with us. There was a great energy with the three of us so we just kept it going. We arrived at the hospital just after 11:00 p.m. only to find out there were no nurses around and all the beds were full, and the new maternity ward upstairs was closed. Welcome to the new age of Canadian health care. Lucky for us Keli was hitting some intense contractions and was further along than the other mothers waiting, so we jumped in line and settled into our room.

We immediately filled up the tub which of course was not as big as the birthing suites we were shown a month ago at the pre-natal course. Then I went to put some music on their stereo which of course wasn't working. But I'm not complaining, no room for any negative energy in this room. So into the bathroom we went. Keli working out her contractions in the warm water, Jannie summoning all the gods and goddesses into the room while she massaged her lower back and then there was me, the daddy to be. I simply focused on Keli the whole time, coaching her through her breathing and reassuring her with all the love and encouragement every step of the way. The contractions were hardcore. She was definitely in pain and I fought back my own tears and stayed strong so she wouldn't freak out even more. She stayed determined but with all these excruciating contractions and not being able to push yet, it was becoming very frustrating. Having already decided to have a natural birth I was surprised when she cryed out that she would want something for the pain. But just as she had that thought our midwife examined her and realized she was already 8cm dilated so it was finally time to get ready to push. Thank god.

So it was here during the pushing stage that I fell deeply in love once again with my wife. I was so proud and I was in complete admiration of her strength and perserverance. As we shifted on to the bed for the last stages of labour she was purely focused on her goal - to deliver a healthy beautiful baby - sooner than later. Keli had spent a lot of time during her pregnancy talking to the child inside and visualizing herself giving a quick birth. No 40 hours for her, no way. As the pushing continued Jannie and the midwife would see the head start to show and I would take a look from where I was standing in front of Keli, encouraging her and reminding her to breath and when and when not to push. Before you knew it the whole head was sticking out and a split second later the rest of the body slipped right out. The midwife put the baby immediately on her chest and I had the biggest smile on my face, it was so surreal, yet I didn't see if it was a boy or girl yet. Then they said it was a boy as he turned his head towards me and momma. Of course it was unlike any other feeling or experience I had ever had and instantly the word family came into my mind. Our family.


While everyone attended to Keli making sure everything was fine with her and checking the baby's heartbeat the three of us just kept staring at eachother in total bliss. Soon it was time to weigh him and clean him up, he came in at 8lbs and one and half ounces and was born at 5:34 a.m. May 25th 2007. A while later I gave him his first diaper change and he did not disappoint. Soon it was time to feed and like a good junior Chico, he latched on without dropping a beat. When he fell asleep I couldn't help notice that his head would slightly bob up and down like he was listening to a song. Saweet!!!

So everything was going fantastic. The midwife was super happy and proud since Keli gave a natural birth and everyone was doing great. After doing some paperwork she said that we would be transferred upstairs for them to monitor baby and mom for a better part of the day but if we wanted to go home she could arrange that. Well, absolutely we'd love to return back to the House of Love, especially with the support of our midwife just down the street, plus Keli's parents would be arriving any moment too. So about six hours after baby Benjamin was born the three of us headed to the car and were on our way home.

Back home there were moments of disbelief. We couldn't believe we had been in a hospital for a mere 12 hours and were already home but it just felt right.The first weekend together was great with some visits from other small children, family and friends. Ben has been a star and his mother the ultimate supahstah! The three of us just keep bonding, huge smiles all around as every moment was a first and will continue to be for some time. We are both thrilled. We are at peace. We are in love.

Dear Sweetheart

Dear Sweetheart,

Well this morning started smoothly enough until I realized I was five blocks down the street without the keys to the office. So now that I was running late I decided to take the Aquabus across the water into Yaletown, instead of the nice walk across the Cambie bridge.

The ocean scents drifted into my lungs and immediately placed my mind on vacation. Almost instantly my thoughts escaped to a tranquil oasis by Kalamalka lake, the Pacific Ocean or alongside the shore of Au Leuk Bay in Thailand. My body momentarily attempted to join my mind on this journey and suddenly the sounds of the workers and piledrivers whispered away, the traffic jam - gone, only the distant sound of seagulls could slightly penetrate this morning bliss. I simply imagined the three of us on hiatus from the system and taking the time and pleasure to get to know eachother well, especially the newest addition to the family. Soon my little boat came to pick me up and all I could hold on to was the scent of the ocean. That ebb and flow to life that keeps it going, keeps battling the waves in search of a shoreline only to set sail again and again for new land, a new home.

This weekend was filled with great visits from family and friends. We watched two documentaries one called What Children Want which was fantastic and another called The Lost Ancient Civilization by Graham Hancock. We painted the crib and did some more design work in the baby's room. We checked our lists and kept wondering if we had forgotten anything but we feel prepared. I think we are doing great and most of the credit must go to you sweetheart.

Since the exciting day we did the pregnancy test and confirmed our loving efforts were rewarded with a plus sign, it has been an incredible joy and honour to experience all of this with you. Your spirit, grace and loving acceptance of this part of your life's journey has been inspiring to be a part of with you. Watching your heart grow as your little belly moved around with anticipation each day, the ever present glow that radiated all around you. I am truely blessed and thankful for the last nine months of awe and I will continue to be right by your side for the next precious weeks and the many years to come.

As we get closer and closer to the special day I just want to tell you "you're amazing" just like a little six year old niece said years ago. Thank you for taking care of this miracle and I look forward to seeing your beauty, love, humour, energy, wit, intelligence, creativity and spirit in our loving child. Whoo-hoo, I'm excited.