As the moon eclipsed, the sultans of summer flew through the night wind and whispered in my ear, “We’ll see you soon.” The appearance of the first light shot out a moon ray of summer heat on my cheeks, I smiled. Rethink. Repeat. I returned.
I am awash in a sea of thought as I pass the dumpster homes and sidewalk beds along my way to work. The air smells like spring fever and the crocuses are sprouting wildly all over town. Today the rain is like a misty Irish Spring commercial showering my face with the freshness of carbon emissions. It’s the black and the white, the blood and the band-aid, the cosmic force of balance. It’s this constant ebb and flow that gives me hope at the same time as I surrender my hands up to the heavens in a state of complete ignorance. Life is the constant change.
My fingers are introduced to their new friends, the keys, like those of a piano or a vintage synthesizer. Yes, there can be a rhythm in this verbiage diarrhea that in some moments feels like the beat of a song. Or a melody here and a small sample, here and there. Ridiculous. These half assed songs and these unrequited rants of love and life burn fast and fade away in an instant while I am left in disrepair. A push of a button lends to the addition of another friend on this book of faces. Hundreds of you as we claim our social stamp through an online community where maybe only the same five of you have the time to be friendly. All of this connecting and re-connecting into a feeling of disconnection.
It’s an interesting time as I wrestle with each lesson and piece of advice to share with the Prince of Heaven on his so very young journey here on earth. My heart is a multi-tasking super computer attempting to prioritize familial aspirations as I veer off on to the shoulder of the road less traveled. How do we keep to the path while succumbing to the banality of routine and scheduling? Where else is the passion outside of the fire that burns in this child’s eyes to know more? Where am I? Where are you?
This is not a passage of discontent but one of excitement and bewilderment. I have never felt so much peace in the face of the unknown as I am encouraged by the long arm of patience to breathe fresh again. There are only these shades of time to find the colour to ignite new life. There will be many moments like these and other chapters to read of life’s observations, as we continue to proceed through this magical odyssey. This was just one of those moments.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
How I Shine Holding My Protest Sign
I think my heart and my mind are somehow in cahoots with one another. Usually they work against each other trying to find their own resolve and on the rare occasion they will collaborate. Yet these days I wonder if they are simply communicating to not communicate. These fingers are slowly finding a rhythm in these keys, in these words to shed light on this black hole of – and then suddenly my eyes blur into one and I seem lost in front of this page. The question? Writer’s block, creative impasse and shaking off cobwebs from this passenger seat – have I lost the map?
I am full of amazement in front of my child as I laugh away with him. There are moments where I trip and fall to find the camera or a pen as I look to document and encapsulate all the numinous expressions. Then the instant fades in front of me but I do not languish in it, or in thinking that I somehow missed it, it just is. Maybe it is simply a new blank canvas that stands in front of me that I find difficult to fill with my own selfish visions of greatness. Constantly inspired by the artistic endeavors of my colleagues sometimes to the point of impossibility. How could any of this ever measure up? How far behind this can feel. This part-time castle-building leaves me speechless and full of humility yet the full-time passion punches plenty of verve as it searches on for its true place in time.
There is a fog lifting at a snails pace, there is a swarming crowd of thoughts scattering to the gunshots of this lost passage. This drum machine heart beat looks to explode every colour to the ground and let it wash away with these grey months of rain. I am splashing like a child in these puddles of discomfort as the water drops singe my hot and weathered skin. I walk along Thoreau through the brush at Walden and find purity flowing effortlessly in the woods. The next minute I am walking in human feces, discarded needles and unforgiving, unhealthy appetites that search right through me for the next fix.
A fifty-foot wave will cut open my chest and set my heart ablaze. The branches of the great Heaven Tree will stitch me back again saving me from my grave. I am in discussions with the angels of bedlam to host the last party on earth. As we await your response the decorations are hung and the bands begin to tune. There is a melancholy melody twanging with the sense of urgency while I search for the right key. Do, re, me I am the unchartered frequency.
The Vampire Weekend sings the story of the ‘campus’ and I am suddenly transported back to the scholastic grounds grasping a politics degree in hand. Oh how it has served me well to dissect the last eight years of dishonesty and criminality. Look how I shine holding my protest sign. It is obvious now when a tree falls in the forest no one hears, for one would think the hundreds of clear cuts worldwide would be deafening. Where are we headed?
Now that you have chosen to wind through this maze of verbiage with no exit in sight, how can I bring you closure when I’m concentrating on opening up?
I am full of amazement in front of my child as I laugh away with him. There are moments where I trip and fall to find the camera or a pen as I look to document and encapsulate all the numinous expressions. Then the instant fades in front of me but I do not languish in it, or in thinking that I somehow missed it, it just is. Maybe it is simply a new blank canvas that stands in front of me that I find difficult to fill with my own selfish visions of greatness. Constantly inspired by the artistic endeavors of my colleagues sometimes to the point of impossibility. How could any of this ever measure up? How far behind this can feel. This part-time castle-building leaves me speechless and full of humility yet the full-time passion punches plenty of verve as it searches on for its true place in time.
There is a fog lifting at a snails pace, there is a swarming crowd of thoughts scattering to the gunshots of this lost passage. This drum machine heart beat looks to explode every colour to the ground and let it wash away with these grey months of rain. I am splashing like a child in these puddles of discomfort as the water drops singe my hot and weathered skin. I walk along Thoreau through the brush at Walden and find purity flowing effortlessly in the woods. The next minute I am walking in human feces, discarded needles and unforgiving, unhealthy appetites that search right through me for the next fix.
A fifty-foot wave will cut open my chest and set my heart ablaze. The branches of the great Heaven Tree will stitch me back again saving me from my grave. I am in discussions with the angels of bedlam to host the last party on earth. As we await your response the decorations are hung and the bands begin to tune. There is a melancholy melody twanging with the sense of urgency while I search for the right key. Do, re, me I am the unchartered frequency.
The Vampire Weekend sings the story of the ‘campus’ and I am suddenly transported back to the scholastic grounds grasping a politics degree in hand. Oh how it has served me well to dissect the last eight years of dishonesty and criminality. Look how I shine holding my protest sign. It is obvious now when a tree falls in the forest no one hears, for one would think the hundreds of clear cuts worldwide would be deafening. Where are we headed?
Now that you have chosen to wind through this maze of verbiage with no exit in sight, how can I bring you closure when I’m concentrating on opening up?
Monday, August 20, 2007
After Midnight
With the final hard drive shutting off there is no more humming sounds, just simply the still of the night. Even the passing cars on Eighth Avenue are fewer this Sunday night. Now I can only hear the echoes of Benjamin's small whimpers in his sleep, his active dream world. I wonder which world he is playing in tonight. What kind of past, future or never has been world does his wonderful brain and heart travel to.
The bonding, the teamwork, the outpouring of love the past couple of weeks is overflowing like Canadian maple syrup on a mile high stack of pancakes. Ridiculous. So where is the theme, the point of this installment of Chico's Observations? Just witnessing Ben's growth has been a blessing, exemplified this past week seeing him with children close in age. Aiden, Elizabeth and the older wiser Elise, were all closely observed by Benjamin himself who is a social butterfly already. I look forward to all these spurts of growth in developing his interactive skills. The bonding and communication is incredible and it is I who continues to learn how he communicates best. Yet, so far so good and Ben continues to be shits and giggles.
Ben is smiling and laughing a lot and has his own little babble speak which I like to join him in and see who babbles louder. Mr Bobblehead is also holding his head very well for long stretches at a time. He loves the hammock in the yard, listens to a lot of music and loves dancing in our arms. Lately he has really taken the title of Champ to heart as he is sleeping through the night already - because he loves his mom so much! Benjamin's song for this past weekend was LADY by Tom Jones, he digs the old school as much as the new school.
Thanks for reading another one of Chico's Observations.
peace,
The bonding, the teamwork, the outpouring of love the past couple of weeks is overflowing like Canadian maple syrup on a mile high stack of pancakes. Ridiculous. So where is the theme, the point of this installment of Chico's Observations? Just witnessing Ben's growth has been a blessing, exemplified this past week seeing him with children close in age. Aiden, Elizabeth and the older wiser Elise, were all closely observed by Benjamin himself who is a social butterfly already. I look forward to all these spurts of growth in developing his interactive skills. The bonding and communication is incredible and it is I who continues to learn how he communicates best. Yet, so far so good and Ben continues to be shits and giggles.
Ben is smiling and laughing a lot and has his own little babble speak which I like to join him in and see who babbles louder. Mr Bobblehead is also holding his head very well for long stretches at a time. He loves the hammock in the yard, listens to a lot of music and loves dancing in our arms. Lately he has really taken the title of Champ to heart as he is sleeping through the night already - because he loves his mom so much! Benjamin's song for this past weekend was LADY by Tom Jones, he digs the old school as much as the new school.
Thanks for reading another one of Chico's Observations.
peace,
Thursday, August 16, 2007
The Times They Are A Changing
Sometimes I simply have the unstoppable urge to write and create. Today is one of those days where I'm taking myself out of the moment to unleash some verbiage through these fingers. It is somewhat of an overcast day and I'm praying to the rain gods to hold off so I can play basketball tonight. Sitting in my new corner office working on a quote for a set of web videos a client wants us to produce but my mind is wandering the more creative as I reminisce about the days in the music industry.
I just joined the Canadian Music Industry Alumni group on Facebook and reconnected with some lost friends. Just this morning I was thinking about the days here in Vancouver working with Calamalka and how much I enjoyed the days we'd sit around listening to his new tracks. Of course now life continues to be more of a balancing act as priorities shift and new creative wonders spark with little Benjamin growing fast and furious. There is no doubt he has inspired a rejuvenated creative spirit as I'm currently working on a new music mix and have been working on a new series of artwork that I'm really happy about.
I'm feeling that my writing is going through big changes. For the last few months I feel I have definitely written less as I have been simply just living the moments instead. I have these urges to grab my writing book and then I just end up soaking in the moment, leaving the pen all by itself. Time is definitely a factor as you work all day and when you come home there are only so many hours to give quality time to family, health and the creative realm. It's a challenge that I'm up for as those things are important to me. The idealist in me believes it is all possible one day at a time. There is no time to give up or get down, just enough time to keep moving ahead. It's an amazing time to be alive. Fiji here we come!
Thank you for reading another of Chico's Observations.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Three Week Observations
Well here we are three weeks into the life of our son Benjamin. We constantly remind each other that it has only been three weeks which is hard to believe sometimes when you are witnessing all the growth and change every second. Feels longer. It also reminds us to be patient, especially when Ben decides to communicate loudly that things are not great at one particular moment or another.
One thing is for sure is that feeding and the eventual passing of gas is a huge relief for the little man. There is no end to the different sounds this young man makes in and around feeding. From the grunts and whimpers to the sounds that remind me of Goat Boy from Saturday Night Live, he is always entertaining and very expressive - which is so strange coming from such quiet and shy parents! For me there are definitely three highlights from Ben's first three weeks of life so far other than the first day he actually arrived.
1/ Momma and Ben. There is nothing like their bond and their soul gazing moments, it'll make any mother cry, some Dad's too. I love the way she talks to him and how he seems to listen, a dialogue that began in earnest ten months ago. I love it when she sings and dances with him and when his head begins to bop in some kinda of rhythm.
2/ Falling asleep on Dad's shoulder. It's like a small bag of potatoes nestled close to your chin but it is softer, smells better and you can't help covering it in kisses. One arm keeping him tight while the other one rubs his back into a deep sleep. You delay the eventual drop off into the crib as long as you can knowing sooner than later, they'd rather walk and run freely, independently, exploring their world. I can already sense that with the way he kicks and throws those big arms and mitts around.
3/ Bath time. I've wrote about it before and it still stands true - he just seems so peaceful and reflective in the water. With his hair all slicked back his eyes pop into prominence and keeps you locked into his gaze. He seems to do some of his deepest thinking in the water while he observes closely the two sets of hands that help bathe him. Must be the best spa experience ever!
This has been a three week Observation by Chico!
One thing is for sure is that feeding and the eventual passing of gas is a huge relief for the little man. There is no end to the different sounds this young man makes in and around feeding. From the grunts and whimpers to the sounds that remind me of Goat Boy from Saturday Night Live, he is always entertaining and very expressive - which is so strange coming from such quiet and shy parents! For me there are definitely three highlights from Ben's first three weeks of life so far other than the first day he actually arrived.
1/ Momma and Ben. There is nothing like their bond and their soul gazing moments, it'll make any mother cry, some Dad's too. I love the way she talks to him and how he seems to listen, a dialogue that began in earnest ten months ago. I love it when she sings and dances with him and when his head begins to bop in some kinda of rhythm.
2/ Falling asleep on Dad's shoulder. It's like a small bag of potatoes nestled close to your chin but it is softer, smells better and you can't help covering it in kisses. One arm keeping him tight while the other one rubs his back into a deep sleep. You delay the eventual drop off into the crib as long as you can knowing sooner than later, they'd rather walk and run freely, independently, exploring their world. I can already sense that with the way he kicks and throws those big arms and mitts around.
3/ Bath time. I've wrote about it before and it still stands true - he just seems so peaceful and reflective in the water. With his hair all slicked back his eyes pop into prominence and keeps you locked into his gaze. He seems to do some of his deepest thinking in the water while he observes closely the two sets of hands that help bathe him. Must be the best spa experience ever!
This has been a three week Observation by Chico!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Ocean Waters
In just a couple of days it will be just two weeks since Benjamin came into our lives. It seems since that day nothing can compare to the experience we are having with eachother and with Benjamin. It has been difficult going right back to work after his birth but his face is forever embedded in my memory.
So many firsts and still so many more ahead of us. Last night was just one of those evenings. After arriving home just as he had finished feeding, I helped him burp before he lay snuggled on my shoulder for a little snooze. That has got to be the most adorable position and it is hard to break away from him. After he woke up and had another healthy feeding it was time to change him and take him for a bath. This time I filled up the tub and jumped in and brought my little man in with me and it was just amazing. Benjamin didn't even flinch as he soaked in the water with Dad. He has an amazing back stroke for a newborn and his legs are pure kicking machines! haha! He looked like he could of stayed in the water forever, he was so content. After the bath we massaged his body with baby oil and then it was good night Irene! KO! We all went to bed early and got a good night sleep, well, pretty good sleep.
It would seem that Benjamin loves the water and so his middle name feels perfect now. Keli and I have always felt strongly about our connection to water, especially living on the west coast and my Portuguese heritage. Oddly enough, the front page of the Vancouver Sun this morning is about the rivers flooding in British Columbia. It's a rainy day in Vancouver.
Now as I stare out the window and listen to the cacophony of construction orchestration pounding the streets in front of me, I'm comforted by the thought that I will see my Queen and our Prince of Heaven soon enough. I am so very thankful for every moment and feel so blessed, so alive. I am also relieved that my good friends Carty & Tersia and their beautiful new daughter Aya are doing amazing and will soon be coming home too. I look forward to the six of us on ichat!
Hope everyone has a great day!
This has been a brief Observation by Chico.
peace!
So many firsts and still so many more ahead of us. Last night was just one of those evenings. After arriving home just as he had finished feeding, I helped him burp before he lay snuggled on my shoulder for a little snooze. That has got to be the most adorable position and it is hard to break away from him. After he woke up and had another healthy feeding it was time to change him and take him for a bath. This time I filled up the tub and jumped in and brought my little man in with me and it was just amazing. Benjamin didn't even flinch as he soaked in the water with Dad. He has an amazing back stroke for a newborn and his legs are pure kicking machines! haha! He looked like he could of stayed in the water forever, he was so content. After the bath we massaged his body with baby oil and then it was good night Irene! KO! We all went to bed early and got a good night sleep, well, pretty good sleep.
It would seem that Benjamin loves the water and so his middle name feels perfect now. Keli and I have always felt strongly about our connection to water, especially living on the west coast and my Portuguese heritage. Oddly enough, the front page of the Vancouver Sun this morning is about the rivers flooding in British Columbia. It's a rainy day in Vancouver.
Now as I stare out the window and listen to the cacophony of construction orchestration pounding the streets in front of me, I'm comforted by the thought that I will see my Queen and our Prince of Heaven soon enough. I am so very thankful for every moment and feel so blessed, so alive. I am also relieved that my good friends Carty & Tersia and their beautiful new daughter Aya are doing amazing and will soon be coming home too. I look forward to the six of us on ichat!
Hope everyone has a great day!
This has been a brief Observation by Chico.
peace!
Monday, May 28, 2007
Benjamin's Story
May 24th, 2007
I left to work feeling anxious as it was our baby's due date. Going to work each day was getting harder as we approached the big day, I just didn't like leaving her home alone. It was a busy day at the office and with many friends asking if it had happened yet, it made for the longest day ever. Around 1:00 p.m. she called me saying she had been dancing at home to the sounds of Ben Harper when she started feeling some lower back pain. She felt different and knew that it was the beginning.
When I got home I made a good hearty dinner for us just in case it actually was to happen she would have some good energy. "If" I thought. Of course I was in denial that it was going to happen yet. The baby hadn't dropped, no water - we're not even close I thought. After dinner she was still complaining of some lower back pain and some how that message of pain travelled all the way to Hawaii to one of her close friends. The phone rang and it was Theresa calling from the sunny shores of Hawaii. She had a feeling Keli was getting closer to labour so she gave her a call. Upon hearing about the back pain she immediately called our mutual friend Jannie, a massage therapist, to see if she was free to come down to relieve Keli of some pain.
As Jannie answered the phone it was her turn up to bat as she was playing baseball that night. By 8:00 p.m. Jannie had arrived at our place and got right to work. Soon after relieving some of the pressure Keli started to have some small contractions. "Did you keep time on that one," she asked. I assured her it was the same time as the last one, still in denial. Of course over the next couple of hours the contractions progressed from ten seconds long to thirty seconds long. Our midwife Terry Lynn, who just lives down the street, came by to check out the progress. Keli was actually already 4 cm dilated. No more denial. Terry Lynn went home to get some rest before having to deliver the baby which was going to happen sooner than later.
About an hour later the contractions were almost up to a minute long and coming very fast. Time to head to the hospital. Jannie had been such a godsend that night that she definitely had to come to the hospital with us. There was a great energy with the three of us so we just kept it going. We arrived at the hospital just after 11:00 p.m. only to find out there were no nurses around and all the beds were full, and the new maternity ward upstairs was closed. Welcome to the new age of Canadian health care. Lucky for us Keli was hitting some intense contractions and was further along than the other mothers waiting, so we jumped in line and settled into our room.
We immediately filled up the tub which of course was not as big as the birthing suites we were shown a month ago at the pre-natal course. Then I went to put some music on their stereo which of course wasn't working. But I'm not complaining, no room for any negative energy in this room. So into the bathroom we went. Keli working out her contractions in the warm water, Jannie summoning all the gods and goddesses into the room while she massaged her lower back and then there was me, the daddy to be. I simply focused on Keli the whole time, coaching her through her breathing and reassuring her with all the love and encouragement every step of the way. The contractions were hardcore. She was definitely in pain and I fought back my own tears and stayed strong so she wouldn't freak out even more. She stayed determined but with all these excruciating contractions and not being able to push yet, it was becoming very frustrating. Having already decided to have a natural birth I was surprised when she cryed out that she would want something for the pain. But just as she had that thought our midwife examined her and realized she was already 8cm dilated so it was finally time to get ready to push. Thank god.
So it was here during the pushing stage that I fell deeply in love once again with my wife. I was so proud and I was in complete admiration of her strength and perserverance. As we shifted on to the bed for the last stages of labour she was purely focused on her goal - to deliver a healthy beautiful baby - sooner than later. Keli had spent a lot of time during her pregnancy talking to the child inside and visualizing herself giving a quick birth. No 40 hours for her, no way. As the pushing continued Jannie and the midwife would see the head start to show and I would take a look from where I was standing in front of Keli, encouraging her and reminding her to breath and when and when not to push. Before you knew it the whole head was sticking out and a split second later the rest of the body slipped right out. The midwife put the baby immediately on her chest and I had the biggest smile on my face, it was so surreal, yet I didn't see if it was a boy or girl yet. Then they said it was a boy as he turned his head towards me and momma. Of course it was unlike any other feeling or experience I had ever had and instantly the word family came into my mind. Our family.
While everyone attended to Keli making sure everything was fine with her and checking the baby's heartbeat the three of us just kept staring at eachother in total bliss. Soon it was time to weigh him and clean him up, he came in at 8lbs and one and half ounces and was born at 5:34 a.m. May 25th 2007. A while later I gave him his first diaper change and he did not disappoint. Soon it was time to feed and like a good junior Chico, he latched on without dropping a beat. When he fell asleep I couldn't help notice that his head would slightly bob up and down like he was listening to a song. Saweet!!!
So everything was going fantastic. The midwife was super happy and proud since Keli gave a natural birth and everyone was doing great. After doing some paperwork she said that we would be transferred upstairs for them to monitor baby and mom for a better part of the day but if we wanted to go home she could arrange that. Well, absolutely we'd love to return back to the House of Love, especially with the support of our midwife just down the street, plus Keli's parents would be arriving any moment too. So about six hours after baby Benjamin was born the three of us headed to the car and were on our way home.
Back home there were moments of disbelief. We couldn't believe we had been in a hospital for a mere 12 hours and were already home but it just felt right.The first weekend together was great with some visits from other small children, family and friends. Ben has been a star and his mother the ultimate supahstah! The three of us just keep bonding, huge smiles all around as every moment was a first and will continue to be for some time. We are both thrilled. We are at peace. We are in love.
I left to work feeling anxious as it was our baby's due date. Going to work each day was getting harder as we approached the big day, I just didn't like leaving her home alone. It was a busy day at the office and with many friends asking if it had happened yet, it made for the longest day ever. Around 1:00 p.m. she called me saying she had been dancing at home to the sounds of Ben Harper when she started feeling some lower back pain. She felt different and knew that it was the beginning.
When I got home I made a good hearty dinner for us just in case it actually was to happen she would have some good energy. "If" I thought. Of course I was in denial that it was going to happen yet. The baby hadn't dropped, no water - we're not even close I thought. After dinner she was still complaining of some lower back pain and some how that message of pain travelled all the way to Hawaii to one of her close friends. The phone rang and it was Theresa calling from the sunny shores of Hawaii. She had a feeling Keli was getting closer to labour so she gave her a call. Upon hearing about the back pain she immediately called our mutual friend Jannie, a massage therapist, to see if she was free to come down to relieve Keli of some pain.
As Jannie answered the phone it was her turn up to bat as she was playing baseball that night. By 8:00 p.m. Jannie had arrived at our place and got right to work. Soon after relieving some of the pressure Keli started to have some small contractions. "Did you keep time on that one," she asked. I assured her it was the same time as the last one, still in denial. Of course over the next couple of hours the contractions progressed from ten seconds long to thirty seconds long. Our midwife Terry Lynn, who just lives down the street, came by to check out the progress. Keli was actually already 4 cm dilated. No more denial. Terry Lynn went home to get some rest before having to deliver the baby which was going to happen sooner than later.
About an hour later the contractions were almost up to a minute long and coming very fast. Time to head to the hospital. Jannie had been such a godsend that night that she definitely had to come to the hospital with us. There was a great energy with the three of us so we just kept it going. We arrived at the hospital just after 11:00 p.m. only to find out there were no nurses around and all the beds were full, and the new maternity ward upstairs was closed. Welcome to the new age of Canadian health care. Lucky for us Keli was hitting some intense contractions and was further along than the other mothers waiting, so we jumped in line and settled into our room.
We immediately filled up the tub which of course was not as big as the birthing suites we were shown a month ago at the pre-natal course. Then I went to put some music on their stereo which of course wasn't working. But I'm not complaining, no room for any negative energy in this room. So into the bathroom we went. Keli working out her contractions in the warm water, Jannie summoning all the gods and goddesses into the room while she massaged her lower back and then there was me, the daddy to be. I simply focused on Keli the whole time, coaching her through her breathing and reassuring her with all the love and encouragement every step of the way. The contractions were hardcore. She was definitely in pain and I fought back my own tears and stayed strong so she wouldn't freak out even more. She stayed determined but with all these excruciating contractions and not being able to push yet, it was becoming very frustrating. Having already decided to have a natural birth I was surprised when she cryed out that she would want something for the pain. But just as she had that thought our midwife examined her and realized she was already 8cm dilated so it was finally time to get ready to push. Thank god.
So it was here during the pushing stage that I fell deeply in love once again with my wife. I was so proud and I was in complete admiration of her strength and perserverance. As we shifted on to the bed for the last stages of labour she was purely focused on her goal - to deliver a healthy beautiful baby - sooner than later. Keli had spent a lot of time during her pregnancy talking to the child inside and visualizing herself giving a quick birth. No 40 hours for her, no way. As the pushing continued Jannie and the midwife would see the head start to show and I would take a look from where I was standing in front of Keli, encouraging her and reminding her to breath and when and when not to push. Before you knew it the whole head was sticking out and a split second later the rest of the body slipped right out. The midwife put the baby immediately on her chest and I had the biggest smile on my face, it was so surreal, yet I didn't see if it was a boy or girl yet. Then they said it was a boy as he turned his head towards me and momma. Of course it was unlike any other feeling or experience I had ever had and instantly the word family came into my mind. Our family.
While everyone attended to Keli making sure everything was fine with her and checking the baby's heartbeat the three of us just kept staring at eachother in total bliss. Soon it was time to weigh him and clean him up, he came in at 8lbs and one and half ounces and was born at 5:34 a.m. May 25th 2007. A while later I gave him his first diaper change and he did not disappoint. Soon it was time to feed and like a good junior Chico, he latched on without dropping a beat. When he fell asleep I couldn't help notice that his head would slightly bob up and down like he was listening to a song. Saweet!!!
So everything was going fantastic. The midwife was super happy and proud since Keli gave a natural birth and everyone was doing great. After doing some paperwork she said that we would be transferred upstairs for them to monitor baby and mom for a better part of the day but if we wanted to go home she could arrange that. Well, absolutely we'd love to return back to the House of Love, especially with the support of our midwife just down the street, plus Keli's parents would be arriving any moment too. So about six hours after baby Benjamin was born the three of us headed to the car and were on our way home.
Back home there were moments of disbelief. We couldn't believe we had been in a hospital for a mere 12 hours and were already home but it just felt right.The first weekend together was great with some visits from other small children, family and friends. Ben has been a star and his mother the ultimate supahstah! The three of us just keep bonding, huge smiles all around as every moment was a first and will continue to be for some time. We are both thrilled. We are at peace. We are in love.
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