Saturday, March 29, 2008

MARCH 29, 2008Share
2:07pm Today | Edit Note | Delete

Joseph = joey = joe = junior = jp = chico = joseph = HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Many thanks and high fives back to all of you, your greetings added to the love today.

Word of the day = Music

Film of the day = August Rush

Hope of the day = 8 p.m. turn out your lights and celebrate Earth Hour!

Songs of the day =
Kid Cudi - Day N’ Night (Crookers Mix)
Time To Pretend - MGMT
Beach in Hawaii - Ziggy Marley
Funky Space Reincarnation- Marvin Gaye
Ratatat - Seventeen Years

Mix of the day =
Walden Pond Mix by thePAsystem : )

Top 10 Albums Played This Week March 29, 2008

Ziggy Marley - Love is My Religion
Panther - 14k God
Vampire Weekend- Vampire Weekend
MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
Black Mountain - In The Future
Cadence Weapon - Afterparty Babies
We Are Scientists - Brain Trust Mastery
Johnny Greenwood -There Will Be Blood
Fu#$ Buttons - Streeet Horrsing
Smashing Pumpkins- American Gothic EP (Sunkissed - Ben’s song today)

The last year was amazing and brought me many miracles and bundles of love. I am ever so thankful for this life. Here’s to the next year of amazing discoveries and joy.Thank you Keli & Ben!!!!!
Go Habs, Go UCLA!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Cracking Ice

This morning as I walked to work and turned off of Pacific Boulevard on to our beloved street in Gastown the magnificent spectaculars were out in full force. The piss filled air roams through the streets, as do abandoned condoms and needles. As I pass the Starbucks on the corner and head towards Pender Street a man runs out of the 7-11 chased and tackled by the employee for apparently stealing something. The alleged thief manages to break free in front of the store and while the employee calls the police the thief and his friends discuss what just happened. “Maybe you should take off before the cops show up,” one of them manages to slur out.



As I continue down Abbott St. ahead of me is what appears to be a skinny junkie bent over and sifting through her box of belongings right in front of the McDonalds. One item after another gets hurled over her shoulder in a desperate search for nothing but her lost mind. Her black tights are small and barely cover the track marks all over her calves. As I cross Pender St. another woman covered in smeared mascara, wearing knee high socks and an overcoat is squatting in front of the Budget rent-a-car filling up her crack pipe. Another woman, or is it a man walking sideways, comes barreling around the corner and almost lands on top of the squatter. The next two blocks between Pender past Hastings to Cordova Street feels like a scene right out of Jim Carroll’s Basketball Diaries. I start to wonder like in some of the other popular films about drug culture if a big shipment of crack hit the streets last night. It’s like the Night of the Living Dead – except its 9:00 a.m.!!



My eyes were filled with these images and more on my morning walk while my head was still picturing the footage of the disintegration of the Wilkins Ice Shelf in the Antarctic Peninsula. A massive 160-square-mile piece of western Antarctic – poof! So the two different scenes in my subconscious today – ice and crack ice. I couldn’t help think how so much of the mechanisms in life, in society, feel as though they are merely here to keep us entertained and oblivious to the real things happening. Sure, I have felt this for some years now but I wonder if more of us are becoming numb or more aware? As we pick and choose what to do with our awareness some of us fall into a blissful state of apathy while others fight off the pessimism of knowing.


Meanwhile, I continue to question everything and live on in constant preparation for a new way.

© Chico Sousa 2008

Friday, March 21, 2008

Paperback Typer


So this is great practice for myself. I am lost. I am here but I am in search of something more. Something else, something that has meaning. Must all my meaning only be found in the inspiration of song? There is no guidance, there is no assurance, there is barely a compass showing us the way. We dredge on not knowing of our future but do any of us? The captain is shroud in mystery, his whereabouts purposely unknown, untold. Deal with this, and this and this, as I leave it last minute for you to complete thanks to the tequila twist. I'm in a whirlwind trying to find a spot to fit in, story of my life - where shall I begin? Sounds of nostalgia and disco breaks set the tempo to these nimble fingers attempting to create something out of nothing. There is no methodology here, in fact there was barely a thought put forward to bring about these actions. I was led here by my fingers and all I can do now is follow until I break free to the beat of a new direction.

I put these digits aside and somehow they awake again and flow back into their arched position attempting to create. They move with lightening speed yet they are void of any true thought, a thought that I should take solace in but somehow the peacefulness of nothingness leaves me with feelings of emptiness. Life's true work just can't be found in this limiting structure, in these walls of uncertainty nor in the margins of profit and loss. I read your thoughts of familial experience, the experience of true meaning of which I agree but still within this system it too is left with very little time in comparison. So dream fingers, dream on and find that kwan, the kwan of mixing career with love. A pipe dream as we may have all lost sight of the truth, our true connection to mother earth. A connection we have worked decades to lose. So my words hand off the baton to Kalle Hasn from Adbusters magazine.

~ That pretty well sums up the way most of us in the affluent West feel about global warming: we’re ready to make small sacrifices, change our light bulbs, our cars and even our leaders, but our culture – the American way of life – is not negotiable.

That’s too bad, because our consumer culture is the primary cause of our ecological crisis. Since WWII, our consumption levels have grown by 300 percent and in the process we’ve developed enormous footprints, insatiable appetites and a boundless sense of entitlement. There’s something degenerate now at the very heart of our culture, and fixing it won’t be easy. We’ll have to confront the fact that we do not have the right to emit carbon into the atmosphere at a much higher rate than everyone else on Earth. And then we’ll have to rethink many aspects of our lives: the way we eat, work, get around, shop, entertain ourselves, raise our children and think about freedom and the responsibilities that come with it.


That kind of cultural transformation will be pretty hard to pull off and it may take more apocalyptic eco-news, more Virginia Techs, kids on Ritalin, more military strikes and terrorists who hate us and maybe a global economic crash before we get serious.

But there’s also an upside to all this: we’re in the endgame now – all six-and-a-half billion of us living through one of the wildest, most lunatic moments in human history, working our way towards an enthralling collective climax. Will it be a dog-eat-dog bloodbath, or a more erotic, consensual kind of climax in which we work it out together? For awhile longer, the choice remains ours. ~

Monday, March 17, 2008

Green Socks

I just spent the last moments of the weekend organizing my sock drawer. It was fascinating, seriously. I feel as though I solved a thirty-year-old mystery. You know how you always lose a sock or two during the laundry ritual? Where do all those socks go you keep wondering? Tonight I figured it out.

C. Jeanne Heida at associatedcontent.com sheds some light on the top places missing socks tend to go. She says to try checking your agitator. “When I donated an old washing machine several years ago, I pried up the agitator and found nearly twenty missing socks.” Apparently there is a gap in the washing machine where socks can easily slip through. Fascinating.

“The other place socks tend to go,” she says, ‘is hidden or stuck to other pieces of clothing,” which makes great sense. She adds that socks aren’t alone in finding themselves missing in action during the laundry process. “Underwear is particularly fond of turning up in places where it shouldn’t be.” I hear that all the time at home!

The subject continued to fascinate me so I continued researching other articles, long articles – about missing socks! The funny had now become absurd. The coolest piece I read was Brian J. Reardon at laundry-alternative.com with his Fate of Missing Socks - Laundry: A Quantum Mechanical Approach. Intrigued I had to read on to find out that the first modern theory to explain typical laundry questions like the missing sock query, was the Decay Theory that states; the quantity of socks in a load can be expressed as a decreasing exponential function of time which is analogous to radioactive decay. Of course, duh!

Nt+N0*exp(-pt)



Reardon points out however, “according to this theory, socks should never completely disappear, or, more importantly, reappear. This clearly contradicts every day experience.”

My weekly laundry experience showed me that when I found a solo sock at the end of folding I would throw it in my sock drawer. Well tonight, that’s exactly where I found them all, every last solo sock found its’ mate tonight in the bottom of the sock drawer. Mystery solved. All except two different green socks, independent stragglers losing their mates after the St. Patrick’s parade but their match may be in the laundry as we speak, or stuck to someone’s kilt drenched in green beer at the Blarney Stone.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!

© Chico Daily 2008

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I Am Awash In A Sea Of Thought

As the moon eclipsed, the sultans of summer flew through the night wind and whispered in my ear, “We’ll see you soon.” The appearance of the first light shot out a moon ray of summer heat on my cheeks, I smiled. Rethink. Repeat. I returned.

I am awash in a sea of thought as I pass the dumpster homes and sidewalk beds along my way to work. The air smells like spring fever and the crocuses are sprouting wildly all over town. Today the rain is like a misty Irish Spring commercial showering my face with the freshness of carbon emissions. It’s the black and the white, the blood and the band-aid, the cosmic force of balance. It’s this constant ebb and flow that gives me hope at the same time as I surrender my hands up to the heavens in a state of complete ignorance. Life is the constant change.

My fingers are introduced to their new friends, the keys, like those of a piano or a vintage synthesizer. Yes, there can be a rhythm in this verbiage diarrhea that in some moments feels like the beat of a song. Or a melody here and a small sample, here and there. Ridiculous. These half assed songs and these unrequited rants of love and life burn fast and fade away in an instant while I am left in disrepair. A push of a button lends to the addition of another friend on this book of faces. Hundreds of you as we claim our social stamp through an online community where maybe only the same five of you have the time to be friendly. All of this connecting and re-connecting into a feeling of disconnection.

It’s an interesting time as I wrestle with each lesson and piece of advice to share with the Prince of Heaven on his so very young journey here on earth. My heart is a multi-tasking super computer attempting to prioritize familial aspirations as I veer off on to the shoulder of the road less traveled. How do we keep to the path while succumbing to the banality of routine and scheduling? Where else is the passion outside of the fire that burns in this child’s eyes to know more? Where am I? Where are you?

This is not a passage of discontent but one of excitement and bewilderment. I have never felt so much peace in the face of the unknown as I am encouraged by the long arm of patience to breathe fresh again. There are only these shades of time to find the colour to ignite new life. There will be many moments like these and other chapters to read of life’s observations, as we continue to proceed through this magical odyssey. This was just one of those moments.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

How I Shine Holding My Protest Sign

I think my heart and my mind are somehow in cahoots with one another. Usually they work against each other trying to find their own resolve and on the rare occasion they will collaborate. Yet these days I wonder if they are simply communicating to not communicate. These fingers are slowly finding a rhythm in these keys, in these words to shed light on this black hole of – and then suddenly my eyes blur into one and I seem lost in front of this page. The question? Writer’s block, creative impasse and shaking off cobwebs from this passenger seat – have I lost the map?

I am full of amazement in front of my child as I laugh away with him. There are moments where I trip and fall to find the camera or a pen as I look to document and encapsulate all the numinous expressions. Then the instant fades in front of me but I do not languish in it, or in thinking that I somehow missed it, it just is. Maybe it is simply a new blank canvas that stands in front of me that I find difficult to fill with my own selfish visions of greatness. Constantly inspired by the artistic endeavors of my colleagues sometimes to the point of impossibility. How could any of this ever measure up? How far behind this can feel. This part-time castle-building leaves me speechless and full of humility yet the full-time passion punches plenty of verve as it searches on for its true place in time.

There is a fog lifting at a snails pace, there is a swarming crowd of thoughts scattering to the gunshots of this lost passage. This drum machine heart beat looks to explode every colour to the ground and let it wash away with these grey months of rain. I am splashing like a child in these puddles of discomfort as the water drops singe my hot and weathered skin. I walk along Thoreau through the brush at Walden and find purity flowing effortlessly in the woods. The next minute I am walking in human feces, discarded needles and unforgiving, unhealthy appetites that search right through me for the next fix.

A fifty-foot wave will cut open my chest and set my heart ablaze. The branches of the great Heaven Tree will stitch me back again saving me from my grave. I am in discussions with the angels of bedlam to host the last party on earth. As we await your response the decorations are hung and the bands begin to tune. There is a melancholy melody twanging with the sense of urgency while I search for the right key. Do, re, me I am the unchartered frequency.

The Vampire Weekend sings the story of the ‘campus’ and I am suddenly transported back to the scholastic grounds grasping a politics degree in hand. Oh how it has served me well to dissect the last eight years of dishonesty and criminality. Look how I shine holding my protest sign. It is obvious now when a tree falls in the forest no one hears, for one would think the hundreds of clear cuts worldwide would be deafening. Where are we headed?

Now that you have chosen to wind through this maze of verbiage with no exit in sight, how can I bring you closure when I’m concentrating on opening up?

Monday, August 20, 2007

After Midnight

With the final hard drive shutting off there is no more humming sounds, just simply the still of the night. Even the passing cars on Eighth Avenue are fewer this Sunday night. Now I can only hear the echoes of Benjamin's small whimpers in his sleep, his active dream world. I wonder which world he is playing in tonight. What kind of past, future or never has been world does his wonderful brain and heart travel to.



The bonding, the teamwork, the outpouring of love the past couple of weeks is overflowing like Canadian maple syrup on a mile high stack of pancakes. Ridiculous. So where is the theme, the point of this installment of Chico's Observations? Just witnessing Ben's growth has been a blessing, exemplified this past week seeing him with children close in age. Aiden, Elizabeth and the older wiser Elise, were all closely observed by Benjamin himself who is a social butterfly already. I look forward to all these spurts of growth in developing his interactive skills. The bonding and communication is incredible and it is I who continues to learn how he communicates best. Yet, so far so good and Ben continues to be shits and giggles.

Ben is smiling and laughing a lot and has his own little babble speak which I like to join him in and see who babbles louder. Mr Bobblehead is also holding his head very well for long stretches at a time. He loves the hammock in the yard, listens to a lot of music and loves dancing in our arms. Lately he has really taken the title of Champ to heart as he is sleeping through the night already - because he loves his mom so much! Benjamin's song for this past weekend was LADY by Tom Jones, he digs the old school as much as the new school.

Thanks for reading another one of Chico's Observations.

peace,