Lights, Camera, Action!

Yesterday I was Mr. Daddy Daycare. I had a great indoor play day on a rainy filled week. By the afternoon, when child number two was dropped off for a while, the living room looked like Toys R Us had vomited everywhere. The carpet was a minefield of building blocks, train tracks, hotwheels and locomotives, balls, hockey sticks and more balls. We had a blast building miniature cities with roadways and railroads as we all rolled on the ground and really got into playtime together.

In the middle of our hallway hockey night in Canada moment the phone rang as I made an amazing save with my face! As I got double teamed by two laughing midgets wielding hockey sticks in the air I reached for the phone, it’s my agent. My agent, ha-ha, makes me laugh just saying that. My wife and son have an agent, since they are the one’s who actually land auditions. But one day we ran into the agent while shopping and she said that I should send her my photo. So a few months ago being freshly unemployed I said why the hell not. I’ve never been interested in acting but I thought you never know, maybe one day you just happen to look like what they are looking for, give it a shot. The auditions are short and painless and it’s liberating not being attached to the results. So far I’ve auditioned for commercials for the cancer society and a Coors Mexico spot, which actually came down to me and another guy. Hilarious.

So my agent asks if I can go to an audition for today. Well the details alone on this spot inspired a lot of dreaming last night.

Shooting in either Europe or Shanghai, 4-6 shooting days
$500 session fee for 10hrs, overtime at $100 per hr.
All ground and air travel, hotel paid by production.
Buyout range from $4500-$10,000 depending on acting experience.

Jacques
He is in his late 30's. He is Italian or South France type of guy. Dark hair, good looking, elegant appearance and an amazing smile. Maybe even with light eyes. He is the leader of the group and keeps them together. Looking for strong acting. Black suit, white shirt, no tie, elegant.

Brad
He is young fighter and racer in his early 30's, much younger than Jaques. The "American dream“, blond guy who every woman checks out. Maybe short hair, very sporty and very classy. Looking for strong acting. Light suits. Beige or white. White shirt can have a big collar. Cool sunglasses.

Scene
Brad is driving the car while Jacques is the passenger.
They are in a hurry and as and they pass a speed-limit sign ..... ignoring it, of course.
But then..... suddenly the car slows down by itself.
Via a navigation-system it knows where you are and how fast you are allowed to drive.
So Jacques gives Brad a certain kind of look....saying " what´s wrong, why do you slow down - we are in a HURRY !

So looking devilishly handsome this morning, as my wife strategically mentioned massaging my ego nicely, I grabbed the next bus wearing my suit on route to the audition at Shoreline Studios. Jacques was on his way! As I approached the building it was like a scene from the Matrix as Neo-Jacques’ converged from all corners of the street and headed to the front door. Everyone I saw I either said “hello Jacques” or “hello Brad” as I jokingly stayed in character. When I arrived into the holding room there was only one Brad surrounded by a group of dark haired Jacques’ and he looked like the perfect Brad. He had a cool name too – Connor Roach! So I filled out my form quickly and handed it in to the casting assistant. A couple minutes later I’m told I’m next and I will go in with Mr. Roach. This is where my heartbeat rises sharply and fast. Some deep breathing and a quick perusal over the script and we are called into the audition room.

Inside the casting director and videographer sit behind the desk getting ready for us. We slate for the camera stating our names and then giving them our profiles.

“Okay, we’ll do two takes. First one silent and then the second one ad-lib, okay.”

Mr. Roach and myself walk up to the two chairs and hop in like it’s a car. I put on my seat belt while he starts the engine and we are off driving through the hills of some undisclosed European locale, looking fabulously cool of course. Until the car automatically slows down around a corner, this is my cue to raise my eyebrow and give him the WTF? look and I delivered! Our second take is even better as we get to ad-lib and take the scene a bit longer. We get some good hearty laughs from the casting director and that was it. Less than five minutes of acting and we are done. It felt good and its over. Back into the main room where I give a collective “Goodbyes Jacques’, Goodbye Brads.” I decide to walk home in my nice suit dreaming of a $15,000 paycheque.

Oh ya, I forgot to mention, after the agent called for me yesterday she called back an hour later, this time to book my son for an audition the same day! Lights, camera, action!