Friday
July 4, 2008
It’s one in the afternoon and I’ve just finished eating an over priced breakfast in the Calgary airport. I’m awaiting my flight to London since leaving Vancouver earlier this morning.
I have kept all electronic devices to a minimum this time. No laptop as I go back to my old school roots with pen and paper! I do have a Blackberry which I check Facebook now and again, reading over everyone’s thoughts and tears about Jonathan’s tragic death. The day after Canada Day celebrations, my 17-year-old cousin and his best friend Dan were killed instantly in a car accident. Today is the US July 4th celebrations and this weekend we will bury two young shining stars who’s light dimmed far too early. And only dim they will for their light will never be gone. The outpouring of love and sadness in Strathroy and London is incredible from what I’ve witnessed all the way from the west coast. Their tribute page on Facebook is far past 500 people already and I can feel the loss and pain of all their high school friends and family.
It’s definitely a tragic moment in our family. I can feel the intensity of it all escalating as I get closer to seeing all my family again. It’s been just over a month since we were all together celebrating my Ben’s first birthday. Now we are all united again. I wish we could all move smoothly into honouring his life, celebrating it all instead of mourning it all. Death is a complicated beast that holds so many different meanings to every person. I’m praying for my whole family, especially Jon’s parents and two sisters Mackenzie & Monique to find peace and serenity in the midst of chaos. Part of me is happy to be able to come back home and lend my hand and all my love. Another part of me is almost overwhelmed with the sadness that lies ahead on this journey. Many years ago in London another tragic event in our family took away a father and a mother leaving the children behind. It rocked the community and our families very hard, as it was the top story in the news. In today’s London Free Press, the story of Jonathan and Dan was printed. It is still all very hard to believe.
My thoughts are on a Ferris wheel. The circle of thoughts goes round and round. My last memories of Jonathan was from Christmas and my last family reunion, thoughts of his family and their sadness, thoughts of all my family and how this affects them, my own brother who I hope outlives me by 125 years, my amazing wife and precious son. All of these thoughts while I sit in the middle of the Calgary airport filled with cowboy hats and partygoers ready to get their drunk on for Stampede. Can’t help think that Clo & Celeste would love Calgary.
Looks like my plane has arrived. Next stop London where my brother picks me up and we’ll head off straight to the visitations at the funeral home. I can’t help think how Jonathan was embarking on manhood and how I will miss finally connecting with him at that stage in life.
Monday
July 7, 2008
Well here it is my first chance to write again since and I’m back in Calgary en route home to Vancouver. What an emotional weekend. Friday night when I arrived my uncle, brother and godson picked me up and we headed to Strathroy for visitations at the funeral home. On the way there we stopped for a few minutes of reflection on Hickory Road at the spot of the fatal accident that took my cousin and his best friend. School friends had already begun leaving flowers, pictures and notes for the two young men. Two wooden crosses stood tall with both their names on them.
As we approached the funeral home the support was simply overwhelming. Two long lines coming from both sides of the funeral home that went alongside the roadside and around the corner. The funeral home was packed full of family, friends and many high school students. There were so many flower arrangements that they didn’t all fit in the funeral home. The visitations had started at 3:00 p.m. and it was now 9:00 p.m and the lines were still massive. The lines of people two thousand strong didn’t disappear until well past midnight and it had been a long, emotional and overwhelming day for everyone. Late that night my uncle, brother and I stayed up until sunrise serenading our cousin with an all night guitar jam.
What a gorgeous sunrise it was this Saturday too. A beautiful sunny day had arrived for us to lay these two young men to rest. The funeral service was over capacity with the church hall next door also full of hundreds of people watching the ceremony on a big screen. After the church we were in the funeral procession with two lines of cars headed down the streets and by the closed highway. The final stage at the cemetery was heart wrenching as we poured our emotions outside and into the air and trees all around us.
This is not an easy thing to write about and even now I am constantly hesitating with my pen. The entire weekend my thoughts would continue to jump from one person to another and how difficult this must be for them as it is for me. How unfair it all seemed losing two great young men. Although my cousin was twenty years younger than me I felt I knew him better than I ever did after this weekend, sadly. They touched the lives of so many people and they all shared their stories, love and support with us all and I thank them all for that.
After the cemetery hundreds showed up at the Portuguese Club where we all shared lunch together. After lunch my uncle and I went to watch my brother and godson play their soccer match. With black armbands on they hit the soccer pitch and dedicated the game to their young cousin Jonathan. That night the four of us performed one last serenade to our cousin.
I am now on a plane finally taking me home to Vancouver. It’s the first time I’ve left my one year old son and wife behind and I’m missing them big time. My eyes are dry and sore from the emotional weekend and the lack of sleep. I leave my hometown of London feeling sad about never seeing Jonathan again but I am also full of immense pride and joy for the legacy he leaves behind. I am so proud of the men and women in our families and the great children they are raising. I hope and pray that the Desa and Medeiros families can truly embrace the love and joyful spirit of their sons through the friends and family who all hold a piece of them in their hearts. This tragedy shook up two families, the community of Strathroy and their only high school. Now we begin the healing. Thank you Jonathan for your spirit, your kindness, your humour, your hard work and your brotherly love.
Wednesday
July 9, 2008
Today they are having a church service for Jonathan, which will be attended by our families and many others. I wish I could be there with you all. Since getting back in Vancouver our thoughts have been constantly with you all back in Ontario. The many text messages I have had with family, the phone calls, emails and Facebook chats have shown me without a doubt that Jonathan is still with us. It is only his physical form that has left us. There have been far too many signs for me to ignore the power of love and spirituality. Let us take joy and comfort in knowing that he now watches over us all with Gracinda and Francisco and many others who have left us before we had hoped. Rest in peace young prince. I love you.
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