Sunday
I don’t want to think. I just want to write. Despite a Vancouver weekend full of rain we all managed to have a fun and busy weekend. I had some great time with Ben as well as a fabulous evening watching him play with his best friend Liam, who is only five days older. Robert Doisneau moments like The Kiss at the bus top with my love. Still, I realize I have a hard time not thinking and editing while writing and still underneath it all, compelled to deliver something raw and from the hip. Something lacking all theory and…I digress, and realize once again, I am somehow apologizing for trying to call myself a writer. And for that matter, calling myself anything at all unless someone else has accredited myself as so.
Meanwhile, my hands lay to rest naturally spread atop the keyboard, breathing, patiently waiting the next stream of consciousness to be painted upon this white canvas. They seem to take much longer than usual, full of unrepentant dialectic energy that has an unforgiving edit rate.
Finally, I succumb to dis-visualiation of the keyboard and full out…ok, let’s try it…astral projection diatribe.
Outside it still rains and inside the angels sleep while I play with words. An attempt to release and connect, share and help, help each other find and enjoy their own silence.
11:11 p.m.
Or
12:11, 12:12 p.m.
Outside the lines, splashing outside the tub. Jumping higher and swimming deeper. Dreams and ambitions, why are you doing anything? Calling, a sign or a force. What you believe and give energy to and somehow others may also give energy towards.
Friday
Two more days left to fill the week, and what a week it was. On Tuesday Barack Obama was elected the 44th President of America, not the United States of America, as they haven’t been united for many years. No, it’s the new America that you’ll hear more mention of in the coming weeks. The new old you may say. Who bloody knows and who really cares anymore. So enough of that, I’m not sure how much I want to write or discuss politics out here in the cyber-trap that I so enjoy anyway.
No, tonight it may just be about music this time around. Sitting down with a fresh Brooklyn Lager and starting off with some tracks featured on the winniecooper website that Sammy put me on to. Sammy was one of the first people I could talk about music all day long with when I first moved out to the west coast. He’s definitely part of the Track Pack, a small group of music junkies that I love sharing all kinds of music with. The Shea Bros, Jas, Carty, Pablo, Potvin and many others who I haven’t been in touch with for awhile. Ah, for the love of music.
Next Friday
The creative stroke has found its way through the November rain as we come closer to bidding adieu to 2008. Although it is the creative flow that truly inspires me it is not what pays the bills.
I produce commercials and I don’t even have cable, in fact, our offices don’t even have cable either. By day I am a television commercial producer helping clients get their vision for their products or services on the old fashioned and out dated television tube. I never set out to get into this business but the company and the position allows me to facilitate my creative side and for that I’m thankful. I don’t watch any television program regularly and when I’m in the mood for a fix I’ll download an episode of Survivorman, Entourage or Boston Legal but for the most part I watch more films and documentaries.
As I pick this piece of paper up again and continue writing I realize this will probably be the last entry for 2008. It has already been over a week in writing and time is passing by quickly as we enter December. The music of The Last Shadow Puppets plays to a room of two at the moment. The song Black Plant gathers speed half way through after leading you on this secret agent vibe – what a track. So, I’ll include here my favourite albums and most played tracks too. Thinking ahead, I should just publish this the same time I finish my last music mix too. Perfect. So I’m back where I started listening and writing about music. Pfft.
Monday
I really have no idea where this observation is going. Right now it seems to be a hodgepodge of thoughts over the last couple of weeks. What stands out for me in these last months of 2008? Hmmm….that is a loaded question and how much of the answer do I really want to reveal here? How much do I want to share with you? Isn’t that what writing is – sharing the written word whether it be fictional or based loosely on reality? I know that even today the written word is up for debate as conventional and established writers scoff at the minions hording on to the internet and logging themselves in as the latest blogging sensations.
I guess that has been my personal dilemma since having a child. My thoughts and observations in some respect seem almost a moot point in relation to the parenting of my child. These are such uncertain times and this heavy heart weighs in on this Monday like every Monday, what are we doing here? Why are we working away like slaves in a world system that is not fair and simply not working for everyone. A general strike is too far fetched I suspect. I guess this is the part of me that connects and relates to all my brothers and sisters worldwide that are without clean water, food and a safe home. I relate not because I fear it but because I see it already happening here in my own native land. So one part of me plans away the future with complete awareness of what is going on while the other half of me holds on to the optimism and positivism that brought me this far.
Thursday
First there was the Coalition of the Willing now in Canada there is simply the Coalition. The three headed, no two headed – three way speaking Coalition of the Leaderless. While many of us were excited at the possibility of overthrowing the ultra conservative and secretive Tory party out of power, the front page of today’s paper reveals a different story. “Truly scared” Canadians blame all parties but would give Tories a majority – in the event of an election. Seriously? I guess our politics have finally reached the same ridiculous level as that of our southern cousins. I’m starting to really question whom this majority of Canadians really are and what do they care about. If there is another bloody election I have the perfect campaign song and platform for the ball-less Tory party – “My Mistakes Were Made For You,” by the Last of The Shadow Puppets.
Friday after next Friday
We are all connected. Last night I watched a documentary called Everything’s Cool about the global warming debate. It concentrated on how the great chasm was created between the thousands of scientist reports about global warming and the critics fighting against it, most of them hired by the oil companies. I no longer felt lonely after listening to Ross Gelbspan, a Pulitzer Prize winning writer and journalist, who was one of the first to begin writing about the problem. But after nearly twenty years Ross was quitting the fight. He had been published everywhere for years and while he saw the issue go from a number one priority to a discredited priority and back again he was still losing hope. By the end of the film he does come around and begins to share his evidence with high school students and is again invigorated with the dream. I felt his urgency and his sadness.
From the uncertainty of the invisible hand ruling this world to the regular bouts of artist regression via the lonely creative road, I too have fought with the lack of hope. I have hope in the citizenry as I witness the personal change in so many of us over the last ten years and the relentless and life altering love and guidance our son receives from his amazing mother in these unforgiving times. Creatively I am filled with hope again and a rejuvenated flow as I am inspired by my peers like the writings of Sara Bynoe, the musical excursions of Teflon Buddha and the imagery of Steve Carty. It is a struggle but one that I am coming closer to fully accepting and embracing so that it will continue to fuel my passion for life.
I am very thankful for this past year. I am thankful for my health in this cancerous world. I am thankful for my city of Vancouver and our home in a world where millions are homeless. I am thankful for the friends and family who do visit or call instead of considering a poke on Facebook as friendship. I am thankful for my parents who lead with love and who brought me into existence instead of being locked with fear. I am thankful for the love of my life and the child our love created. I am thankful for mother nature who continues to give us life despite our attempts to kill her. I am thankful to be alive today. I am thankful to be in a state of thankfulness. I thank you for taking the time to read Chico’s Observations. Lead with love. Peace.
Most Played Albums in 2008
1. Flying Lotus - Los Angeles
2. David Holmes - Holy Pictures
3. The Fratellis - Here We Stand
4. Islands - Arm’s Way
5. The Kooks - Konk
6. Portugal The Man - Censored Colors
7. Cut Copy - In Ghost Colours
8. Vampires Weekend - Vampires Weekend
9. Of Montreal - Skeletal Lamping
10. Atmosphere - When Life Gives You Lemons You Paint That Shit Gold
11. David Arnold - James Bond:Quantum of Solace Soundtrack
12. Scott Weiland - Happy in Galoshes
13. Rodrigo Y Gabriela - Rodrigo Y Gabriela
14. Cold War Kids - Loyalty to Loyalty
15. The Last Shadow Puppets - The Age of Understatement
16. John Legend - Evolver
17. Grand Analog - Calligraffiti
18. The Raveonettes - Lust Lust Lust
19. The Black Keys - Attack and Release
20. Shad - The Old Prince
Most Played Tracks in 2008
1. Rays - La Mode
2. Shake It - Metro Station
3. Shiller - Ratatat
4. Always Where I need to be - The Kooks
5. Time To Pretend - MGMT
6. Stairway to Heaven - Rodrigo Y Gabriela
7. Till I Walk Alone - Grand Analog
8. Poker Face - Lady Gaga
9. Beach in Hawaii - Ziggy Marley
10. Troublemaker- Weezer
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